More than you ever wanted to know about Swalest'Shooth

Favorite Tangst Post Ever:
Actually, my favorite words of Tangst are found in a comment on one of the posts: “Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.” This is the closest I think I’ve ever come to finding a true definition of the word “love.”

What skin color would you have, given any?
Forgive me for my lack of imagination, but I would simply take a healthier accentuation of my natural freckles. Something not quite so academically pasty as my current complexion.

What is your most convincing argument for the theory that all other people are robots?
You know that feeling you get whenever somebody else says something and you have no idea what to say, or you put your foot in your mouth a lot farther than you ever intended to? Ever notice how nobody else seems to do that? It’s because they’ve all got the same script programmed in to their brains and they’re not sharing with you! …what, I’m the only one who ever feels that way around people?

If you had to date another admin, who would it be and why?
Knowing Sysadmin Extraordinare Box-Box in real life and thus already being enamored by his passionately shaped nostrils, I would have to choose him. It would also mean I’d never have to fix my own computer again!

What movie or book made the biggest impact on you?
The Keys of the Kingdom by A. J. Cronin was one of the most amazing books I ever read. It restored my faith in the basic goodness hidden in the dusty bones and books of my often antiquated religion.

If you could punch someone in the face right now with no repercussions, who would it be?
There is a certain member of a certain Narnia fansite who promotes a certain very strict conservative worldview that got certain somewhat liberal members of this fansite somewhat miffed and shunned who I would very much like to maim.

If you had to kill one of the other admins, who would it be?
After careful consideration, it comes to my attention that Nanotyrannus simply knows too much to live. That, and she said that purple just wasn’t my color. For that, she will pay.

Left or right?
I myself am right-handed, though if we’re going by palmistry here, I like what my left hand says better.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck all the wood that was ecologically feasible for him to chuck under a multiple-use sustained yield logging program using a selective cutting method that caused as little permanent damage to the surrounding ecosystem as possible.

Are you currently single?
No, I’m quite happily married. I mean attached.

Have you had sex?
Yes, and before the comments start, I would like to state that I prefer the term skankwhore to other such colorful monikers as ho bag, skankmuffin, or slutbucket.

Do you dream in color?
Yes, I dream in vibrant hues—the coloration of my dreams is often one of the most vividly remembered elements about them. I dream at any time when I am asleep, night or day, though my most interesting and detailed dreaming seems to take place at night. Some of my dreams do have great meaning. Others are no more than the bored amusements of a slumbering mind. Those amusements often seem to include physically infeasible roller coasters, often made of baked goods.

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I believe the “are you single” question already covered this; yes, I have a wonderful boyfriend with whom I am very happy.

If you could have consequence-free sex with any other admin, who would it be?
Oh, Nanotyrannus, surely. Because then I could kill her and make absolutely sure that it was consequence-free.

If you were stranded on a desert island with the other admins, who would you eat first?
Hm… there’s some nice lean meat on TintedFragipan. His name even sounds like an exotic desert.

Who would take on a role of leadership?
While sithgirl would of course maintain her iron grip on the power behind the throne, her puppet figurehead would most likely be PChis.

Who would go crazy first, assuming that someone did?
CajunExplosion is pretty much already there. Not far to go before he’s coming down off a mountain ravin’ about a dead parachuter and getting himself killed by crazy British schoolboys.

Who do you think has a crush on Ben Tan?
I don’t know Ben Tan personally, nor do I know of any members of the opposite or same sex who would hold deep feelings for him. For all I know, Ben Tan started the whole thing himself.

Is the pursuit in life the journey or the destination?
Why differentiate, when neither one has meaning without the other?

Do you someday want children? If so, how many?
Yes, I would someday like children, hopefully no more than about two. And by “someday,” I mean someday far in the future. Not now, obviously.

If you were a Popsicle, what would you taste like?
Sugary and artificial, just like Popsicles.

Would you rather be eaten by a shark or have to life the rest of your life with a cereal box over your head?
Where did you come up with that one? Anyway, cereal box. Definitely. Especially if it’s one of those ones with the maze printed on the back where you have to help Buzz the Honey Bee find the hive. As a child, I always wondered why the bees, if their interest was in making honey, built their hive on the other side of a huge, complicated maze from the flower fields.

Would you rather marry another admin right now, or marry a complete stranger in five years?
Damn… widen that category to “admin or contributor,” and I’d be able to give a much more decisive answer. Still, I’d probably rather hitch up with an admin that I know.

What sandwich condiment best fits your personality and why?
I liken myself to cranberry mustard: uncommon, slightly disgusting to the unadventurous soul, and tiresome after the novelty has worn off and you’ve been having it on ham and cheese sandwiches for years. Actually… I’ve got a powerful hankering for a ham, cheese, and cranberry mustard sandwich right now.

If you could date anybody at Enloe, who would it be and why?
Damn, but why must these categories constrict so? Ah, in any case… I believe that, simply out of curiosity, I would want to date Stanton Abramson, to find out how he learns all his secret inside information about the inner workings of our alma mater.

Who at Enloe do you think should be student body president? Senior class president?
My vote goes to Keri Judd, for wheelchairing me across campus after I threw up and fainted during the Enloe Blood Drive.

Does anyone in your family know about Tangst?
Tangst is my family. :)

Is this spinal tap?
"But you see, our speakers are louder-- they go to eleven."

What is the relevance of the Etruscan civilization on modern culture?
I think that the Etruscans were one of those civilizations that must have been discussed in the colored boxes in the World History textbook, because I sure don't remember them. Poor Etruscans. I think I walked past some Etruscan art in the Vatican Museum, though.

Do you like eating pickled toads?
No. I do not like picked toads, I would not eat them in a box, I would not eat them with a fox, etc., etc.

How many non-Enloe people use Tangst?
I don't know. I for one am an Enloe people, and I use Tangst. So at least not one non-Enloe people uses Tangst. ...did that last sentence make sense?

What is your favorite quote, and why?
"Darkness is no evil in itself; only man's fear and ignorance make it so." -Leigh Ann Hussey
Not only does this quote hail from the best vampire story ever written by anyone, ever, it states a basic truth.

What is your favorite song or piece of music right now? Why do you like it?
Have you ever heard Journey of the Sorcerer? How can one not love this amazing orchestration of space-age banjo music?

What is your current philosophy on life?
It exists. Live it. And if you screw up, don't worry. You'll be dead soon enough anyway.

What do you breathe for?
The oxygen assists in cellular respiration and the production of ATP molecules which release energy useful for powering most bodily functions.

What was your New Year's Resolution this year?
To keep up my grades, learn to ski, get my driver's license, and read the books that various people keep lending me. That last one's giving me a bit of trouble.

What does your username mean?
Mr. Swales is my all-time favorite character from Dracula. He is a minor character with a severe speech impediment who befriends Lucy and Mina during their stay at Whitby. He dies in the early chapters, but not before being very awesome and Swalesy. T'Shooth is D'ni for "of death," which I chose for its sutiable angstyness. If you don't know what D'ni is, you don't know me in real life. Try typing it in to Google and see what you get.

What is your favorite type of juice?
I love killing younglings. Their blood tastes like delicious red berries.

Ideal boob size?
Well, having just gone bra shopping, I realize that though I had assumed that I posessed only a 36-B bust, my true size, as far as strapless comfort is concerned, is more along the lines of 34-D. ...I am somewhat happy with this fact.

Have you ever been in love?
As of three months and twenty six days ago, very yes.

Are you gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight?
I am generally straight and had assumed myself to be so until very recently when certain events and revelations indicated that I may in fact be bisexual. Not that it matters.

If you could live forever, would you?
A difficult question to answer, and I believe the tagline for the most recent Tuck Everlasting movie. You know, the one starring Alexis Bledel? It was one of the few movies that I believe was significantly better than the book because of liberties taken by the moviemaker. I mean, raising Winnie's age from ten to seventeen really helps with the believability of her promising herself in marriage to that guy in the family whose name I forget. The movie was not bad. The book kind of was. Maybe I just like Alexis Bledel too much, since she's Rory. Then again, in another adaptation of a beloved girl novel, Alexis played Lena and the moviemakers took far too many bad liberties with her story from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, reducing her emotionally complicated relationship with Kostos to a sort of Romeo-Juliet forbidden love thing that played better on screen than the original book-long denial and slow self-discovery. So I'm not just biased towards Bledel. Oh dear, like a lecture on American History in Dr. Hoffman's class when someone mentions Jews, this discussion has taken significant time out on an unrelated tangent. In any case, I do not think I would want to live forever. Environmental Science makes the future look like suckiness.