Stale Pastry Crumbs
1. Have you ever been in love?
I don't really trust my judgement on this one... so no.
2. are you in it now?
Naw.
3. Do you have a crush on someone at your school?
Perhaps not a crush per se... but there are plenty of people I wouldn't mind spending more time with.
4. If you were a vegetable, what kind would you be?
The kind that doesn't taste like vegetables at all. Perhaps cupcakes.
5. What are your religious inclinations, if any?
And here we go, I like to tell most people I'm agnostic because they tend to not get angry, but I'm basically an atheist. Why? Well, I don't think it matters at all whether or not a divine being created the world and left us alone, no no. So then what's my beef with religion? Well think about it, if there is a god who indeed has an active role on everybody's life everyday... can't you see what that means? Why does a god grant miracles for a select few, and then murder, blight, and ravage millions upon millions of others? If all of this suffering is planned out and created on purpose... then God is the worst fucking monster that ever existed or ever will exist. I mean... damn! I just couldn't stand to live in a world like that.
6. If the world were a sandwich, would everything be
better?
No. Unless of course all the jerks were turned into grape jelly or something so that we could feed on their gelatinous insides.
7. If you could meet any person, who would it be (and why)? Dead
or alive.
Oh! Well, assuming that I could speak French or had some wild translation machine, I'd be chilling with Chopin... or maybe Ravel... or maybe Debussy... or maybe... you get the idea. In fact, we wouldn't even have to speak, we could just chill in the sun somewhere and sip delicious mixed drinks.
8. what turns you on about the oppisite sex (or same sex) more
than anything else?
They um... aren't guys.
9. Does size matter?
It depends. How much do you weigh?
10. What's you favorite subject?
Do you mean in school or in general? In school, I really like English as far as serious academics go... But any subject? I'm gonna go with Thuglyfe.
11. What is your opinion on Paris Hilton?
She um... wants to be known for her personality.
12. What college (if any) would you like to attend?
Oberlin or Davidson would be to-tally hawt. Carolina or Antioch if I don't get into those two.
13. What's your favorite food?
Sushi or sashimi, depending on my mood and how much fish I really want. But I really love it as long as it's fresh. Er... but I kinda just like to eat... so...
14. If you had wings, what color would they be?
Oh, they would be huge hardcore bat wings like the demon at the end of Fantasia! You know "Night on Bald Mountain" by Modest Mussorgsky? So cool.
15. Do you have to be in love with someone? Can't you just be IN
LOVE?
Is this one of those "high on life" preach-fests? I don't get it.
16. If you could paint the whole world for a single day, would
you paint it and how?
Hell no! That's soooo retarded. It would take me way more than one day to paint the whole world... and just think of the cost! Not to mention all of those people who don't appreciate being a ripe shade of green while I'm painting their dog, car, and children some other god-awful color!
17. Are you more of an apple, banana, or pear?
I like to eat those... except for bananas. They're a little too mushy for me.
18. what is one thing that guys should know about girls in
general
To treat girls like they're people instead of some different species merely known as "girls". Not that chivalry is a totally bad thing, but the "don't swear in front a girl" jazz is a bit... retarded and outdated. Especially when many of them swear more than me... It was an example!
19. what the fuck is going on here?
Spinal Tap.
20. whats you favorite hair color of the opposite sex.
I... don't like hair that is totally fried. Aside from that... have a ball.
21. who likes short short?
I don't like to wear them per se... but it's not so bad when *cough* leggy blondes have 'em on.
22. Ninjas or Pirates?
This question isn't even a valid question. The obvious answer is Ninjas, and not only for their higher cool factor. The reason their cool factor is so much higher is because their mythos involves intense training, precision, and skill whereas any jackass can be a pirate. Grow a beard, grab a cutlass, and you're good to go on the next boat out of port! So sorry, but in all cases, a Ninja will kill all pirates. A ninja will kill ALL pirates.
23. Who would win in a swordfight between Tarzan and a
businessman from New York?
Tarzan... but then again, he probably wouldn't need the sword either.
24. has there ever been one moment when you knew your heart was
broken? if so, when and what was it?
Nope. Except for that time when they ran out of monkey chunky chocolate chip ice cream at my local Kroger's.
25. How many languages do you speak? (and though it isn't part
of the question, what are the languages?)
I speak English... that's right, I suck. I take high school Spanish... and I can count to 10 in Korean. Big. Fucking. Deal.
26. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, either
permanently or temporarily, what would it be?
Purple streaks. That would be fun for a while... and then get old, and super gross. Luckily, it'd grow out.
27. What single individual is the biggest problem with American
society today?
Madonna. No, of course not really. She's just my token answer... I used her for something last time too. Either way, that's an utterly ridiculous question.
28. Hypothetically, if you were to come into possession of a
hammer, would you prefer to hammer in the mornin' or in the evenin'?
Also, Which would you hammer out first: Danger, or a warning?
A warning, if I just hammered out "Danger" well... there would still be more danger after that, but hopefully the warning would prepare people better (Fat chance).
29. What are your opinions on breakfast food? Good or
bad?
I think we've established that I just really like food. But pancakes are the tops! Oh, and Belgian waffles rock as well!
30. Where the fuck did you get that banana?!
From my pants, but then... you already knew, didn't you?
31. what is the sexiest musical instrument?
I'd be inclined to say piano since I play it... but I'm going to go with anything you can play while naked.
32. if you had sex with one animal (nonhuman)which one would it
be and why?
It really doesn't matter since sex with an animal is basically masturbation. It's not like the animal really gives a shit in most cases. Oh, but not beetles. Ew.
33. whos your favorite dictator?
I think favorite is probably a poor wording here... but I guess I'll go with Stalin? No real reason behind it, I just think Russian is fun to listen to.
34. Where have all the flowers gone?
They've all gone to soldiers on their graves. Kudos for the Pete Seeger reference.
35. when will all the questions end?
When people like you stop writing them. Dur.
36. whats your favorite melon.
Water. Though a nice cantaloupe can be good too; however, all melons are good for igniting / throwing off of high precipices.
37. what is your major goal in life? what do you look forward to
most?
I look forward to being rich, as unobtainable as it is.
38. does death scare you?
I don't think about it much, but mortality is rather intimidating.
39. what happened in the most tragic or traumatic time in your
life?
Gee... to be honest I can't remember or think of something horribly traumatic. Maybe it was when I was 8 or 9 and I hit a dear family friend in the forehead with a metal putter by accident. He had to go to the hospital and whatnot, I thought his wife was going to call the police and send me to jail. I cried and cried... of course, he was alright and showed up later to show me his "cool neon blue stitches". So... it ended alright.
40. What do you want?
A big, beautiful piece of ASS!
41. Out of all 52 cards in the deck, which is your
favorite?
I always liked the King of Hearts because I thought it was funny he looked like he was sticking swords in his head... and also the movie of the same name is absolutely wonderful.
42. why do fools fall in love
Hey, everyone's allowed to. No matter how foolish.
43. why do YOU want to see snakes on a plane!!!!
I didn't, I swore I wouldn't, but I saw it. I haven't laughed at a movie so hard in a long time. I'm also pleased to know that it tanked at the box office.
44. for how much money would you become a eunuch
You'd have to pay me a reasonable sum, if only for the soreness I would endure after the procedure. Christ almighty!
45. if tangst were a drug, what would it be and would you
ODing?
It would totally be cocaine, and here's why! Sometimes you read a really great post, and it makes you feel awesome... you also find that you start habitually (against your will?) checking Tangst every so often. It increases and becomes a constant procedure. It costs you time rather than money, and once you come down, sometimes you read posts that make you constantly paranoid, "Is this about me? Who is it? Should I confess my undying emo-love?" And eventually, sometimes (but not always as is the case with cocaine) you just lose that great buzz you used to get, and you just keep at it out of habit (addiction).
46. why aren't you not arrogant?
Wouldn't it have been easier to say "Why are you arrogant?"... oh.
47. stephen colbert bridge or chuck norris bridge?
Um... why.
48. Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite
thing about him/her?
Nope. Leave it alone, yeah?
49. how many of these questions did you actually answer
All. Of. Them. Goodnight.
I don't really trust my judgement on this one... so no.
2. are you in it now?
Naw.
3. Do you have a crush on someone at your school?
Perhaps not a crush per se... but there are plenty of people I wouldn't mind spending more time with.
4. If you were a vegetable, what kind would you be?
The kind that doesn't taste like vegetables at all. Perhaps cupcakes.
5. What are your religious inclinations, if any?
And here we go, I like to tell most people I'm agnostic because they tend to not get angry, but I'm basically an atheist. Why? Well, I don't think it matters at all whether or not a divine being created the world and left us alone, no no. So then what's my beef with religion? Well think about it, if there is a god who indeed has an active role on everybody's life everyday... can't you see what that means? Why does a god grant miracles for a select few, and then murder, blight, and ravage millions upon millions of others? If all of this suffering is planned out and created on purpose... then God is the worst fucking monster that ever existed or ever will exist. I mean... damn! I just couldn't stand to live in a world like that.
6. If the world were a sandwich, would everything be
better?
No. Unless of course all the jerks were turned into grape jelly or something so that we could feed on their gelatinous insides.
7. If you could meet any person, who would it be (and why)? Dead
or alive.
Oh! Well, assuming that I could speak French or had some wild translation machine, I'd be chilling with Chopin... or maybe Ravel... or maybe Debussy... or maybe... you get the idea. In fact, we wouldn't even have to speak, we could just chill in the sun somewhere and sip delicious mixed drinks.
8. what turns you on about the oppisite sex (or same sex) more
than anything else?
They um... aren't guys.
9. Does size matter?
It depends. How much do you weigh?
10. What's you favorite subject?
Do you mean in school or in general? In school, I really like English as far as serious academics go... But any subject? I'm gonna go with Thuglyfe.
11. What is your opinion on Paris Hilton?
She um... wants to be known for her personality.
12. What college (if any) would you like to attend?
Oberlin or Davidson would be to-tally hawt. Carolina or Antioch if I don't get into those two.
13. What's your favorite food?
Sushi or sashimi, depending on my mood and how much fish I really want. But I really love it as long as it's fresh. Er... but I kinda just like to eat... so...
14. If you had wings, what color would they be?
Oh, they would be huge hardcore bat wings like the demon at the end of Fantasia! You know "Night on Bald Mountain" by Modest Mussorgsky? So cool.
15. Do you have to be in love with someone? Can't you just be IN
LOVE?
Is this one of those "high on life" preach-fests? I don't get it.
16. If you could paint the whole world for a single day, would
you paint it and how?
Hell no! That's soooo retarded. It would take me way more than one day to paint the whole world... and just think of the cost! Not to mention all of those people who don't appreciate being a ripe shade of green while I'm painting their dog, car, and children some other god-awful color!
17. Are you more of an apple, banana, or pear?
I like to eat those... except for bananas. They're a little too mushy for me.
18. what is one thing that guys should know about girls in
general
To treat girls like they're people instead of some different species merely known as "girls". Not that chivalry is a totally bad thing, but the "don't swear in front a girl" jazz is a bit... retarded and outdated. Especially when many of them swear more than me... It was an example!
19. what the fuck is going on here?
Spinal Tap.
20. whats you favorite hair color of the opposite sex.
I... don't like hair that is totally fried. Aside from that... have a ball.
21. who likes short short?
I don't like to wear them per se... but it's not so bad when *cough* leggy blondes have 'em on.
22. Ninjas or Pirates?
This question isn't even a valid question. The obvious answer is Ninjas, and not only for their higher cool factor. The reason their cool factor is so much higher is because their mythos involves intense training, precision, and skill whereas any jackass can be a pirate. Grow a beard, grab a cutlass, and you're good to go on the next boat out of port! So sorry, but in all cases, a Ninja will kill all pirates. A ninja will kill ALL pirates.
23. Who would win in a swordfight between Tarzan and a
businessman from New York?
Tarzan... but then again, he probably wouldn't need the sword either.
24. has there ever been one moment when you knew your heart was
broken? if so, when and what was it?
Nope. Except for that time when they ran out of monkey chunky chocolate chip ice cream at my local Kroger's.
25. How many languages do you speak? (and though it isn't part
of the question, what are the languages?)
I speak English... that's right, I suck. I take high school Spanish... and I can count to 10 in Korean. Big. Fucking. Deal.
26. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, either
permanently or temporarily, what would it be?
Purple streaks. That would be fun for a while... and then get old, and super gross. Luckily, it'd grow out.
27. What single individual is the biggest problem with American
society today?
Madonna. No, of course not really. She's just my token answer... I used her for something last time too. Either way, that's an utterly ridiculous question.
28. Hypothetically, if you were to come into possession of a
hammer, would you prefer to hammer in the mornin' or in the evenin'?
Also, Which would you hammer out first: Danger, or a warning?
A warning, if I just hammered out "Danger" well... there would still be more danger after that, but hopefully the warning would prepare people better (Fat chance).
29. What are your opinions on breakfast food? Good or
bad?
I think we've established that I just really like food. But pancakes are the tops! Oh, and Belgian waffles rock as well!
30. Where the fuck did you get that banana?!
From my pants, but then... you already knew, didn't you?
31. what is the sexiest musical instrument?
I'd be inclined to say piano since I play it... but I'm going to go with anything you can play while naked.
32. if you had sex with one animal (nonhuman)which one would it
be and why?
It really doesn't matter since sex with an animal is basically masturbation. It's not like the animal really gives a shit in most cases. Oh, but not beetles. Ew.
33. whos your favorite dictator?
I think favorite is probably a poor wording here... but I guess I'll go with Stalin? No real reason behind it, I just think Russian is fun to listen to.
34. Where have all the flowers gone?
They've all gone to soldiers on their graves. Kudos for the Pete Seeger reference.
35. when will all the questions end?
When people like you stop writing them. Dur.
36. whats your favorite melon.
Water. Though a nice cantaloupe can be good too; however, all melons are good for igniting / throwing off of high precipices.
37. what is your major goal in life? what do you look forward to
most?
I look forward to being rich, as unobtainable as it is.
38. does death scare you?
I don't think about it much, but mortality is rather intimidating.
39. what happened in the most tragic or traumatic time in your
life?
Gee... to be honest I can't remember or think of something horribly traumatic. Maybe it was when I was 8 or 9 and I hit a dear family friend in the forehead with a metal putter by accident. He had to go to the hospital and whatnot, I thought his wife was going to call the police and send me to jail. I cried and cried... of course, he was alright and showed up later to show me his "cool neon blue stitches". So... it ended alright.
40. What do you want?
A big, beautiful piece of ASS!
41. Out of all 52 cards in the deck, which is your
favorite?
I always liked the King of Hearts because I thought it was funny he looked like he was sticking swords in his head... and also the movie of the same name is absolutely wonderful.
42. why do fools fall in love
Hey, everyone's allowed to. No matter how foolish.
43. why do YOU want to see snakes on a plane!!!!
I didn't, I swore I wouldn't, but I saw it. I haven't laughed at a movie so hard in a long time. I'm also pleased to know that it tanked at the box office.
44. for how much money would you become a eunuch
You'd have to pay me a reasonable sum, if only for the soreness I would endure after the procedure. Christ almighty!
45. if tangst were a drug, what would it be and would you
ODing?
It would totally be cocaine, and here's why! Sometimes you read a really great post, and it makes you feel awesome... you also find that you start habitually (against your will?) checking Tangst every so often. It increases and becomes a constant procedure. It costs you time rather than money, and once you come down, sometimes you read posts that make you constantly paranoid, "Is this about me? Who is it? Should I confess my undying emo-love?" And eventually, sometimes (but not always as is the case with cocaine) you just lose that great buzz you used to get, and you just keep at it out of habit (addiction).
46. why aren't you not arrogant?
Wouldn't it have been easier to say "Why are you arrogant?"... oh.
47. stephen colbert bridge or chuck norris bridge?
Um... why.
48. Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite
thing about him/her?
Nope. Leave it alone, yeah?
49. how many of these questions did you actually answer
All. Of. Them. Goodnight.
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