Hannah's 49-question monstrosity
1. Have you ever been in love?
I suppose I have a special story to tell about this one. You see, guys, when I went to camp this summer, it wasn't just all music, all the time. Well, I mean, it very nearly was--nine hours of flute a day ain't nothin' at which to sneeze--but you have to admit: scales and arpeggios weren't the only things that brightened my day. No, out in the wild woods of Michigan, surrounded by the romantic mirror-like lakes and freshly-scented pine trees, there was something else that made my heart sing. It was glorious. Wonderful. Bittersweet only because I knew each moment could not last.
I'll admit it; I'm obsessed. But, man, did it make my day when there was tapioca pudding in the cafeteria line. :D
(No, for serious--I think I consumed my body weight in that stuff this summer. Yum.)
2. are you in it now?
Hellz, yeah. Wait, what was the question? . . . I just had a sudden urge to answer one of these with "hellz, yeah"
3. Do you have a crush on someone at your school?
Secretly, I want into Swalest'Shooth's pants. But, shhh. Don't tell anyone!
4. If you were a vegetable, what kind would you be?
An avacodo. Mmmm. Besides the fact that they are delicious, filling out college applications makes me feel a bit as if I'm being made into guacamole.
5. What are your religious inclinations, if any?
Jedi Knight.
(In all seriousness, that's about as close to any religion I'd get--I'm pretty atheistic.)
6. If the world were a sandwich, would everything be
better?
Hellz no.
7. If you could meet any person, who would it be (and why)? Dead
or alive.
Eww. I totally think I have to answer this for my Boston University application. And I still can't think of anything to write there better than "Ronald McDonald."
8. what turns you on about the oppisite sex (or same sex) more
than anything else?
Hellz--wait . . .
9. Does size matter?
Of course! Big bowl of tapioca > small bowl of tapioca.
10. What's you favorite subject?
Independent study. Bitches.
11. What is your opinion on Paris Hilton?
Who? >.<
12. What college (if any) would you like to attend?
UNC (if nowhere else lets me in with enough financial aid and they get a better flute program and I get the Morehead and the free laptop that comes with the Morehead and if Chapel Hill suddenly relocates about five hundred miles in any direction--including East, which would, admittedly, make for a pretty interesting college experience--and therefore is not within 45-minutes' driving distance of my house. And if my parents would ever forgive me for becoming a tarheel. x_x)
Conversely, I'm also looking at Boston University, Indiana University, NYU, and Hogwarts.
13. What's your favorite food?
I really like noodles. And sushi. And krispy kreme doughnuts. And tapioca pudding. And tacos and chili and biscuits and chicken sandwiches with lettuce and pizza and mushrooms and mashed potatoes and curry. Not all at once.
14. If you had wings, what color would they be?
Blue. Good lord, everything I own is blue--it's really sad. I've gone to two formal dances in dark blue dresses. I went shopping with some people the other day and Tinted, out of instinct, kept pointing to indigo-shaded items. I'm so predictable.
15. Do you have to be in love with someone? Can't you just be IN
LOVE?
Well, you don't have to be all-caps with someone. You certainly can just be ALL CAPS.
16. If you could paint the whole world for a single day, would
you paint it and how?
I'll let you guess this one. But it's a primary color--and not yellow or red.
17. Are you more of an apple, banana, or pear?
I really hate bananas with a passion.
18. what is one thing that guys should know about girls in
general
That girls rule, and boys drool. *sticks out tongue*
19. what the fuck is going on here?
I sure as hell don't know. Do you?
20. whats you favorite hair color of the opposite sex.
Mmmmmm.
21. who likes short short?
Um, I am kinda "short short." I'm, like, 5'3".
22. Ninjas or Pirates?
OH SEVEN.
23. Who would win in a swordfight between Tarzan and a
businessman from New York?
Depends who's directing! (Ha! Ha! fencing joke!)
24. has there ever been one moment when you knew your heart was
broken? if so, when and what was it?
Okay, so this one time (at band camp, yeah, yeah, I know), I saw something white and lumpy-looking in a bowl in the dessert section of the cafeteria. I raced to it, heart pounding, dragging my plastic tray along the metal railing, elbowing my way past polo-shirted campers. It was there, within reach; I grabbed for the serving spoon--
And it was cottage cheese.
25. How many languages do you speak? (and though it isn't part
of the question, what are the languages?)
Fluently? None--I mistook the word "cupboard" for "prison" the other day, and regularly say things like "I eh glorchsnazch." But only when my mouth is full. :)
I do dabble a bit in English, French, and Tolkien's Elvish. Chyeah.
26. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, either
permanently or temporarily, what would it be?
Mmmm, didn't someone ask this last time? Or was that skin? Either way, I might go for orange.
27. What single individual is the biggest problem with American
society today?
Probably me. :)
28. Hypothetically, if you were to come into possession of a
hammer, would you prefer to hammer in the mornin' or in the evenin'?
Also, Which would you hammer out first: Danger, or a warning?
I'd hit my thumb, first.
29. What are your opinions on breakfast food? Good or bad?
I will, in fact, eat almost anything.
30. Where the fuck did you get that banana?!
Bananas are like stoplights . . . Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means . . .
31. what is the sexiest musical instrument?
Flutes are the prettiest section! (though I must advocate slightly for the virtues of the clarinet.)
32. if you had sex with one animal (nonhuman)which one would it
be and why?
A cockroach. At least, then, I guess I could pretend it was Kafka.
33. whos your favorite dictator?
Sithgirl.
34. Where have all the flowers gone?
Oh, god, wasn't this the name of a movie? Or a book? I am so artistically illiterate.
. . .
Okay, it was driving me mad; I had to google it. A song? What?
35. when will all the questions end?
49. (okay, I peeked.)
36. whats your favorite melon.
A mellaphone.
37. what is your major goal in life? what do you look forward to
most?
a) grow tentacles
b) Joel Martin
38. does death scare you?
Hellz--er, hm, perhaps I shouldn't preface a "death"-based question with that . . .
39. what happened in the most tragic or traumatic time in your
life?
Well, this morning, I poured an egg white on my face because I'd read somewhere it was supposed to "draw out impurities" from your skin. Unbeknownst to me, the way in which this simple chemistry worked was that, in drying, the egg white drew out everything from my face--into an erect forward position that made me look as if my lips, nose, eyelids, and eyebrows were being sucked into a vacuum cleaner.
40. What do you want?
T' get these mutha-fuckin' snakes offa this mutha'-fuckin plane.
41. Out of all 52 cards in the deck, which is your
favorite?
The two of--anything. God, am I addicted to "scum!"
42. why do fools fall in love
Hormones.
43. why do YOU want to see snakes on a plane!!!!
DO I EVEN NEED A REASON?
44. for how much money would you become a eunuch
Wouldn't happen.
If you offered me some food, however. . . . (Hm. perhaps it is somewhat obvious by now that I am a food whore.)
45. if tangst were a drug, what would it be and would you
ODing?
I learned in Health Class that that sort of thing is a High Risk Activity. : O
46. why aren't you not arrogant?
Ow. The double negatives. My brain.
47. stephen colbert bridge or chuck norris bridge?
Yo' momma.
48. Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite
thing about him/her?
Yes. The fact that he doesn't read anything people post here. :D
49. how many of these questions did you actually answer
Good lord. Done!
I suppose I have a special story to tell about this one. You see, guys, when I went to camp this summer, it wasn't just all music, all the time. Well, I mean, it very nearly was--nine hours of flute a day ain't nothin' at which to sneeze--but you have to admit: scales and arpeggios weren't the only things that brightened my day. No, out in the wild woods of Michigan, surrounded by the romantic mirror-like lakes and freshly-scented pine trees, there was something else that made my heart sing. It was glorious. Wonderful. Bittersweet only because I knew each moment could not last.
I'll admit it; I'm obsessed. But, man, did it make my day when there was tapioca pudding in the cafeteria line. :D
(No, for serious--I think I consumed my body weight in that stuff this summer. Yum.)
2. are you in it now?
Hellz, yeah. Wait, what was the question? . . . I just had a sudden urge to answer one of these with "hellz, yeah"
3. Do you have a crush on someone at your school?
Secretly, I want into Swalest'Shooth's pants. But, shhh. Don't tell anyone!
4. If you were a vegetable, what kind would you be?
An avacodo. Mmmm. Besides the fact that they are delicious, filling out college applications makes me feel a bit as if I'm being made into guacamole.
5. What are your religious inclinations, if any?
Jedi Knight.
(In all seriousness, that's about as close to any religion I'd get--I'm pretty atheistic.)
6. If the world were a sandwich, would everything be
better?
Hellz no.
7. If you could meet any person, who would it be (and why)? Dead
or alive.
Eww. I totally think I have to answer this for my Boston University application. And I still can't think of anything to write there better than "Ronald McDonald."
8. what turns you on about the oppisite sex (or same sex) more
than anything else?
Hellz--wait . . .
9. Does size matter?
Of course! Big bowl of tapioca > small bowl of tapioca.
10. What's you favorite subject?
Independent study. Bitches.
11. What is your opinion on Paris Hilton?
Who? >.<
12. What college (if any) would you like to attend?
UNC (if nowhere else lets me in with enough financial aid and they get a better flute program and I get the Morehead and the free laptop that comes with the Morehead and if Chapel Hill suddenly relocates about five hundred miles in any direction--including East, which would, admittedly, make for a pretty interesting college experience--and therefore is not within 45-minutes' driving distance of my house. And if my parents would ever forgive me for becoming a tarheel. x_x)
Conversely, I'm also looking at Boston University, Indiana University, NYU, and Hogwarts.
13. What's your favorite food?
I really like noodles. And sushi. And krispy kreme doughnuts. And tapioca pudding. And tacos and chili and biscuits and chicken sandwiches with lettuce and pizza and mushrooms and mashed potatoes and curry. Not all at once.
14. If you had wings, what color would they be?
Blue. Good lord, everything I own is blue--it's really sad. I've gone to two formal dances in dark blue dresses. I went shopping with some people the other day and Tinted, out of instinct, kept pointing to indigo-shaded items. I'm so predictable.
15. Do you have to be in love with someone? Can't you just be IN
LOVE?
Well, you don't have to be all-caps with someone. You certainly can just be ALL CAPS.
16. If you could paint the whole world for a single day, would
you paint it and how?
I'll let you guess this one. But it's a primary color--and not yellow or red.
17. Are you more of an apple, banana, or pear?
I really hate bananas with a passion.
18. what is one thing that guys should know about girls in
general
That girls rule, and boys drool. *sticks out tongue*
19. what the fuck is going on here?
I sure as hell don't know. Do you?
20. whats you favorite hair color of the opposite sex.
Mmmmmm.
21. who likes short short?
Um, I am kinda "short short." I'm, like, 5'3".
22. Ninjas or Pirates?
OH SEVEN.
23. Who would win in a swordfight between Tarzan and a
businessman from New York?
Depends who's directing! (Ha! Ha! fencing joke!)
24. has there ever been one moment when you knew your heart was
broken? if so, when and what was it?
Okay, so this one time (at band camp, yeah, yeah, I know), I saw something white and lumpy-looking in a bowl in the dessert section of the cafeteria. I raced to it, heart pounding, dragging my plastic tray along the metal railing, elbowing my way past polo-shirted campers. It was there, within reach; I grabbed for the serving spoon--
And it was cottage cheese.
25. How many languages do you speak? (and though it isn't part
of the question, what are the languages?)
Fluently? None--I mistook the word "cupboard" for "prison" the other day, and regularly say things like "I eh glorchsnazch." But only when my mouth is full. :)
I do dabble a bit in English, French, and Tolkien's Elvish. Chyeah.
26. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, either
permanently or temporarily, what would it be?
Mmmm, didn't someone ask this last time? Or was that skin? Either way, I might go for orange.
27. What single individual is the biggest problem with American
society today?
Probably me. :)
28. Hypothetically, if you were to come into possession of a
hammer, would you prefer to hammer in the mornin' or in the evenin'?
Also, Which would you hammer out first: Danger, or a warning?
I'd hit my thumb, first.
29. What are your opinions on breakfast food? Good or bad?
I will, in fact, eat almost anything.
30. Where the fuck did you get that banana?!
Bananas are like stoplights . . . Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means . . .
31. what is the sexiest musical instrument?
Flutes are the prettiest section! (though I must advocate slightly for the virtues of the clarinet.)
32. if you had sex with one animal (nonhuman)which one would it
be and why?
A cockroach. At least, then, I guess I could pretend it was Kafka.
33. whos your favorite dictator?
Sithgirl.
34. Where have all the flowers gone?
Oh, god, wasn't this the name of a movie? Or a book? I am so artistically illiterate.
. . .
Okay, it was driving me mad; I had to google it. A song? What?
35. when will all the questions end?
49. (okay, I peeked.)
36. whats your favorite melon.
A mellaphone.
37. what is your major goal in life? what do you look forward to
most?
a) grow tentacles
b) Joel Martin
38. does death scare you?
Hellz--er, hm, perhaps I shouldn't preface a "death"-based question with that . . .
39. what happened in the most tragic or traumatic time in your
life?
Well, this morning, I poured an egg white on my face because I'd read somewhere it was supposed to "draw out impurities" from your skin. Unbeknownst to me, the way in which this simple chemistry worked was that, in drying, the egg white drew out everything from my face--into an erect forward position that made me look as if my lips, nose, eyelids, and eyebrows were being sucked into a vacuum cleaner.
40. What do you want?
T' get these mutha-fuckin' snakes offa this mutha'-fuckin plane.
41. Out of all 52 cards in the deck, which is your
favorite?
The two of--anything. God, am I addicted to "scum!"
42. why do fools fall in love
Hormones.
43. why do YOU want to see snakes on a plane!!!!
DO I EVEN NEED A REASON?
44. for how much money would you become a eunuch
Wouldn't happen.
If you offered me some food, however. . . . (Hm. perhaps it is somewhat obvious by now that I am a food whore.)
45. if tangst were a drug, what would it be and would you
ODing?
I learned in Health Class that that sort of thing is a High Risk Activity. : O
46. why aren't you not arrogant?
Ow. The double negatives. My brain.
47. stephen colbert bridge or chuck norris bridge?
Yo' momma.
48. Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite
thing about him/her?
Yes. The fact that he doesn't read anything people post here. :D
49. how many of these questions did you actually answer
Good lord. Done!
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